“OK, K. Book me a hair appointment.”
“You got it, girl. You wanna get your nails did too?”
“Obvy. Book me a mani/pedi while you’re at it.”
That’s K: Always looking out for her human. K is the new artificial intelligence (AI) by Kim Kardashian, developed to live on the fashionista’s new line of BabyKakes wearables. K is designed to be everything her wearers wish they could be: Chic, sassy, and oh-so-sparkly.
Forget Alexa. And forget all those ugly smartwatches that look like you borrowed them from your boyfriend. BabyKakes blends form and function with its first wearable: A watch that features fitness tracking, 10,000 microscopic Swarovski crystals per unit, and its own proprietary AI, “K.”
Prior to presenting the first BabyKakes watch to Fauxhasset fashionista Mim Sartashian, Kardashian took a moment to tell the Paroder about the inspiration behind BabyKakes, which emerged from stealth today, April 1, 2018.
“The wearable market, it’s just not as cute and fun as a fashion girl like myself would want it to be,” Kardashian explained. “And Alexa’s kind of just this basic bitch. I mean she’s helpful, but she’s all-business, whereas K is all about making users fabulous, while getting things done in their day-to-day lives.”
The Kardashian sisters aren’t above sporting some, well, sporty looks: Kim was recently spotted in a pair of cycling shorts, a hoodie, and beat-up sneakers during a charity event marking the grand opening of a Los Angeles community center.
However, the clan is ultimately all about high couture – and most wearables, or at least, smartwatches, aren’t. They necessarily come with a large face and tend to look rather manly, despite efforts to make them more sleek and stylish with trendy or interchangeable wristbands.
The majority of smartwatches look like exactly what they are, Kardashian said. It’s not a subtle look.
“I’m not about ‘subtle,’” Kardashian added, “but if I’m going to be in your face, I’d better be glamorous while doing it – and that’s what BabyKakes is all about.”
In contrast, BabyKakes’ first smartwatch will feature 10,000 microscopic Swarovski crystals on the rotating crown that borders the face (used for scrolling through notifications) and inset behind the screen itself, which is completely clear when not in use – giving the watch a unique sparkle until the wearer chooses to activate it.
Notifications can be displayed upon receipt or muted so that they don’t obscure this unique aesthetic feature. The watch can still deliver vibrational notifications while the screen is muted.
Customers can choose between white, black, pink, or yellow crystals and can even opt to have the detailing continue around the band, or select a simple yet bold gold link design.
So much for the fashion angle. Just how smart is this smartwatch?
According to early reviews from bloggers and beta testers, the BabyKakes watch does all the usual fitness stuff, including step counting, heart rate tracking, and calorie monitoring – but makes all of it extra fabulous, adding a dash of sass to every conversation.
Having trouble following that L.A. diet or workout regimen? K is there to support users every step of the way (literally), cheering them on as they run, lift, crunch, or suffer through a bowl of tough but healthy kale. K knows when it’s time to remind the wearer to drink water during a workout and holds the owner accountable in the face of temptations such as those gourmet donuts that are so trendy right now.
And of course, what would a smartwatch be if it didn’t link to your American Express Centurion “Black Card?” Basically nothing. That’s why Kardashian partnered with AmEx to power contactless payments with the BabyKakes watch as well as future wearables to be designed by her fashion line, Zapphire.
Kardashian made it clear that she doesn’t want to stop at smartwatches – this was simply the most natural entry point for a stylish woman who was sick of wearing watches that looked like she’d borrowed it from her husband.
BabyKakes is now working to develop smart rings, pendants, and cuffs, said Kardashian. Look for the new pieces next year on April 1, 2019.