Op-Ed: O.K.O.K. Not O.K.

Hey Fauxhasset, can we have a serious chat for just a second? Since the O.K.O.K. Café closed, there have been a lot of so-so eateries in and out of that location. Some of us were even content with every one of them (I’m looking at you Chompsky), but really? A Waffle House?

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Darth Vader is serving up his own son’s hand on a platter, and you want me to believe this place isn’t a den of evil sickos? | Photo credit

I don’t care if it’s some kind of interdimensional Waffle House wishing well. Just because a cat has kittens in the oven doesn’t make them biscuits; a Waffle House is still a Waffle House, and that makes it a gateway to more than just waffles – it’s a gateway to drugs and crime.

This Waffle House in particular is a gateway to extraterrestrial drugs, interdimensional crime, and literally who knows where?! In February we all read the story of the aliens being arrested at the Waffle House. I wasn’t surprised – and can any of you honestly say that you were?

While I know there have been fewer and fewer stories in the police blotter, there is a simple explanation for this lack of coverage. The Paroder’s crime correspondent Sobby Raint-John went to investigate the Waffle House with Crompson and she never came back, so of course we are seeing fewer crime stories.

Honestly though, I just thought we as a community were better than this, and that’s what I find the most disappointing. I think it’s time we faced the truth: Only the O.K.O.K. Café was O.K. enough.

Poe Phoe

 

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