Fauxhasset Paroder, 12th Edition: Christmas means compromise

By Thamanda Crompson
Fauxhasset Paroder Staff Reporter

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Tim Burton has been trying to get us to do this for years. Photo credit

Peace on Earth and goodwill toward all: that’s the Christmas spirit, and nothing embodies it better this year than the Assembly of Chosen’s decision about holiday décor on the Common. Unable to reach an agreement, the Assembly voted earlier this week to compromise.

The Halloween gravestones and congress of ghosts will remain through the end of December, but they will be integrated into the usual Christmas décor, the board decided at its weekly Marathon of Remarks.

This weekend, volunteers will be hanging greens and ornaments on the headstones. The 50-foot angel statue will be wrapped in lights and a shining star placed on top. As usual, the water in the fountain will be replaced with chocolate fondue for the month of December.

Ghosts who wish to extend their contract with the Town will be taught to sing Christmas carols and will be employed to keep the Christmas lawn inflatables billowing at all times, saving the Town substantially in electricity costs.

The ghosts have also agreed, due to the effects of global climate change and the absence of traditional winter weather, to provide cold spots on demand. On rainy days, they will be providing isolated patches of snowfall. Don’t miss out on your White Christmas – head to the village this weekend!

“We realized we didn’t have to choose,” Chair-Chosen Mevin Kirk said after the Marathon. “Halloween doesn’t have to be over for Christmas to start. This way we get the best of both worlds.”

The Assembly has yet to agree upon whether Santa will arrive Christmas Eve by sleigh or by lobster boat.

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2 thoughts on “Fauxhasset Paroder, 12th Edition: Christmas means compromise

  1. Hey I’m glad you stumbled upon and commented on my blog! I was unable to leave a comment on your Fauxhasset Paroder About page because it wasn’t an option so that’s why I’m commenting here. I think it’s super cool and a sweet concept of how your a Reporter by day, secret agent by night (that’s the vibe I get). I just watched The Nightmare Before Christmas recently, I know it’s an icon of a film especially during Christmas time, but I just got around to watching it now. I guess I was creeped out about the spooky skeleton when I was younger, I don’t know. Always fun to interact with other bloggers!

    • I actually haven’t seen it either. Probably for the same reason. But I don’t admit that to just anyone, cause I feel like it’s one of those staples you’re just supposed to have seen! Thanks for stopping by and for your kind words 🙂

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