Fauxhasset Paroder, 3rd Edition: Hillary Clinton spotted in Fauxhasset

by Thamanda Crompson
Fauxhasset Paroder Staff Reporter

Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was spotted riding around Fauxhasset in a red convertible this morning.

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Concerned witnesses said that Clinton looked “thin” when she stopped by Walgreens Pharmacy this morning. Photo credit: Kevin McCarthy

Clinton reportedly made a purchase at Walgreens Pharmacy, causing some concern among those who saw her.

“Is she sick again?” demanded one witness. “She didn’t look well. Not well at all. Very thin, very… cardboardy. Isn’t it just like her to pull this on Election Day! We the people deserve to know if one of our presidential candidates has suddenly turned into cardboard!”

Another witness said Clinton’s perseverance through this bout of two-dimensionality only served to increase her admiration and support for the Democratic presidential candidate.

“I cast the right vote this morning,” said the witness. “If Hillary can fight through this, she can fight through anything!”

Being made of cardboard is a serious ailment that afflicts many celebrities, but doctors say it’s only a passing virus and nothing to worry about. It is not life-threatening and poses no threat to anyone who is not extremely rich and influential.

Registered voters who have not yet cast their ballot may do so at Town Hall before 8:00 p.m. today.

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